What did you find at Christmas?
Is that the common question these days?
No! We are more in the habit of asking questions that are easier to answer. Did we have a good Christmas? Did Santa Claus bring you everything you wanted? Did your family come to visit? Can you believe the crowds at the malls? These are our way of saying we care, at least a little about someone else’s life. But not too specific or too personal so we won’t get some long answer about how someone else’s life is really going.
I think, despite our superficial interest, we have grown careful in asking others about their faith and circumstances. Yes, I do think we still care about others. It is just we are reluctant to put someone else on the spot with a real question and a real answer. Because that would mean we might be obliged to do the same thing. It is about risking our life to another person, whether they are a stranger or even a close family friend.
Psychologists might say we don’t want to listen, because that takes too much work. I say it is more about what we don’t want to feel about other people’s pains and problems. (We don’t want to feel their frustration or futility. We don’t want to feel our own inability to solve their problems or to solve our own.) These are the things we rarely want to share. Of course, if it is a joy, most anybody will gladly listen (unless it’s the fourth time about your grandchildren’s Christmas program! There are limits!) But as a rule, our life’s burdens are the hardest part.
Perhaps that is why entertainment has become so popular. We look for a new movie, a new place to eat, a new electronic gadget, and even a new pet, anything that might distract us from our otherwise difficult life and circumstances.
Of course, this is not all bad. It is just that the real need to share these events, and be sustained while we endure them, is desperately important to our survival. The Christian community is at work when we have prayer and fellowship. These are the places where such sharing can take place.
Oh yes, there are counselors, psychiatrists, and therapists who will charge their extraordinary rates to listen to your problems. They do have their place for exceptional situations or medications; however, the general population needs only some real good friends. They are the ones who have the time and will take the time to hear your story, or hear it again. And likewise share their own. It does need to flow both ways.
In turn, each person shares his or her life and circumstances. Each one shares the other’s burden for a few brief moments. Both are blessed in this sharing. Both are renewed for another hour, another day. God’s plan was to share with us. He opened the door. He gave us prayer to talk to Him directly. He also gave us each other to share those same kinds of daily conversations that give each other life and comfort.
What did you find at Christmas this year? Who wants to know? Who wants to share? Who wants to listen while I tell you what I did find? Start the process with God in prayer and then…
May there be kind, attentive ears for you to share with someone.
Christmas is a lot about … searching and finding!
Joseph M. Westfall is a bi-vocational minister living in Oak Ridge. Since 1975, his ministry has covered pastoral positions in 17 churches across several denominational lines in six different states. He has special training and experience in interim ministry for churches in transition. He has a Biblical style and teaching heart. He encourages honesty and the Holy Spirit. His favorite response to a sermon he has preached? “You make me think!â€
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